I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
