I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
