Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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