I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
