If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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