my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
