your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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