I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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