Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
