Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
