all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
