i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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