Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do herpes really smell.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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