Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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