why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
