She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
