Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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