We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize