talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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