Whod you bang
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
