Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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