She's JV to your varsity
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
