I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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