he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
