I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
