So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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