To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
