I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
