I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
