would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
