Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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