Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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