I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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