i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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