you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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