And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
false alarm, still single
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
