The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
