There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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