one two three fourrrrnication!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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