help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
