that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
