I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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