i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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