Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
