Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
