SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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