Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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