so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
