I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
God, I missed his penis.
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