How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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