Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
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