idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
that is very illegal...i love you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
