How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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