I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
