is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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