Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
