i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
