I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize