they need to just BURY HIM!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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