I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
