How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
